This was not a dream.

Tonight I stepped outside for some phone reception, when I heard the lilting sounds of horns trailing off into the distance. I finished up my call and was about to step back inside when the chords rose, lifting into a progession and the sounds wrapped themselves around my heart. I paused for a minute, then wandered in the general direction of the music.

I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, so I wandered the blocks and ran into people walking their dogs and chatting on the phone, all with their heads up, wondering where the music was coming from. Then a quick light beat kicked in and gave the horns a platform, completing the song. I wondered what I would do when and if I ever got close to where the music was coming from - knock on the door and ask what track it was?

Hypnotized and mesmerized by the sounds, I thought how silly it was that I was wandering around in slippers with my front door slightly open, abandoned, searching for that perfect sound. It was like a perfume lover catching a stray note on a stranger's fragrance, a mark of beauty that was so compelling that I was powerless against it.

I finally decided that it must be coming from a rooftop on Milwaukee Ave. and stopped on the curb to let the melody imprint onto my brain.

This week has been as volatile in my life as the financial markets have been in the news, but with staggering heights to match the bottoming lows. I feel a change coming in the air as nature prepares to shift into a new season, and I feel geared up and ready, weary of a long hot season that began for me 7 months ago when I got on the plane to the Philippines and shed my winter coat. I never thought that I would be stoked out for the cold weather, but right now I am looking forward for the shift into news things all around and can feel those changes at work already.

Post-birthday Spiral

I hate to admit it, but ever since my birthday life has been charging forward like a barreling train, in which I have been lounging louchely in the party car. This past week I have gone to sleep (or passed out, exhausted) with dancebeats more times than not, my muscles pummeled by soundwaves from speakers. It sets the soundstage for my dreams, which are larger and livelier than ever.

I don't live like this all the time, and this kind of energy is actually typical for me around this time of the year so I know to enjoy these fun times for what they are. My birthday occurs during a season of change, which always makes me reflective. Recent events have brought a unique tinge to this particular year, which have led me to spend this time reflecting on previously unconsidered meanings of the idea of freedom.

***

This weekend my friend Jenny is getting married. I have known her since we were little girls playing on the swings in the park, from so far back that I remember when she lost her baby teeth.

It will be an honor to read this at the ceremony tomorrow, as it has been such a beautiful thing to read all week for me:

Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues
but do not have love,
I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy
and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own,
and if I hand my body over so that I may boast
but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over
injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things

Love never fails.