I Hear the Gentle Voices Calling

This morning I hung out with my dad in his office while he prepared for another trip back to Cebu. Tomorrow will be the fourth time in 2 years that I'll be saying goodbye to him - my dad has become a solo wanderer now. He probably had always been one. The work that he is doing is the work of a lifetime, tying together the disparate ends of his life and reconciling things that were done by people who are already dead. He became the head of a divisive and contentious family upon the death of my aunt last year, and is returning there to resolve issues that were left in the wake of her passing away.

My dad had escaped the stifles of his family by studying hard and keeping his head down until he departed immediately upon finishing medical school. He lived on the other side of the world in Chicago for 30 years, until these obligations found him boarding the plane at O'Hare and reentering a world he chose to leave a long time ago. It appears to me that there seems to be some things that you just cannot escape, the biggest battles in life will find you and confront you until you've resolved them no matter how far you've gone to avoid them.

Between buzzing around mailing taxes, writing letters and organizing his paperwork, my dad dj'ed for us by playing his favorite music off of youtube. He was mostly just playing whatever he felt and would even change the song sometimes in the middle of the track. As I tried unsuccessfully to choke back the tears through each song, I realized that there is indeed a romantic and morbid streak that runs deep and wide through my family, a melancholic inclination that can only be soothed with hours long bouts of listening to haunting lilting melodies.

Some of these songs had been played for him on the piano by my grandmother. She was one of a few people in her town who owned a record player (in the Philippines, just after WWII) with which she bestowed this passion for music from all over the world and from every era onto my dad. Did she know she'd be unleashing a million dreams throughout many decades through the power of music? How could she not?

My Dad's Youtube Playlist:

Beautiful Dreamer - Roy Orbison
The Great Pretender - The Platters
Old Man River - Paul Robeson
Ave Maria- Hayley Westnora
Micaela's Aria - Gordana Jevtovic-Minov
Those Were The Days - Mary Hopkin
One More Walk Around the Garden - Sarah Brightman
Vincent - Josh Groban (my dad dedicated this to my brother Ramon)
Old Black Joe - Trapp Family
I Dream of Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair - Don Ameche
Beautiful Dreamer - Marilyn Horne
Once Upon A Time - Frank Sinatra
Malaguena - Lecuona
Damisela Encantadora - Lecuona